10 Reasons I Will Not Be Running

Apparently tonight is the deadline to register for the Peachtree Road Race in Atlanta.  I feel the need to share 10 reasons I will not be a part of this year’s field:

10.  There are over 70,000 people in the race.  Even if I were lucky enough to pass 30,000 people I would still have to tell my buddies that I finished in the 40,000’s.  No pride in that.

9.  The race is a 10k.  I need less “k.”

8.  The bathroom scale says 214 baby!  Need I say more?

7.  Are the Kenyans running again this year?  Well we know one thing, a guy named Bubba won't win.

6.  The water stations don’t serve Bar-B-Que.

5.  I run all those “k’s” and all I get is a crummy T-shirt?

4. I have a phobia of being passed by women pushing strollers.

3. I run a 10 minute mile.  I’m not proficient on metric conversion, but the way I figure it, at that pace a 10k on July 4 would take me well into July 5.

2.    I lost my entry form in my wife’s extreme couponing notebook.

1.    The race is on July 4.  I grew up in Georgia and know full well that only fools run on July 4 in Georgia.  Momma didn’t raise no fool!


Anonymous said…
#7 is my favorite!

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