Changing the Tone of Marriage (The Script)
The most difficult and frustrating part of marriage is communication. One way to measure the amount of happiness in a marriage is to measure the level at which each person involved is understood. Thus the proper question to ask is not how often do you talk, but are you understood? Most women use their quota of words in a given day. Women have no problem talking, but in marriage women often feel misunderstood. Men say what they mean and mean what they say, but still wonder why their wives “don’t have a clue.” Communication is more than just saying words. Communication is being understood.
A lot can go wrong in communication, and usually does. Most couples can write the script. If there is something meaningful in marriage that needs to be discussed many couples had rather ignore the issue than live the tragedy. She will bring up, “x.” He will say, “y.” There will be yelling. She will be hurt by his words. He will wonder why she constantly brings these things up. She will slam door 1. He will slam door 2. The dust will eventually settle and the home will return to normalcy. Yet normalcy is nothing more than unspoken tension birthed in mutual misunderstanding.
Being misunderstood can make you hate the one you love. It will kill intimacy, destroy happiness, and sever the bond of marriage. So how do we get it together and achieve understanding? Understanding is marriage’s greatest challenge. Are you ready to burn the tragic script that most often describes the course of marital conversation, or lack thereof? Wouldn’t you like to see a new script in your marriage, one with a much happier ending? The key is in learning to speak a different language, learning to listen, and changing the tone of marriage.
To be continued.