Session 8 - Wrestling for Forgiveness

 

Manuscript (Rough Draft)

In 2024 at UFC 302, Kevin Holland put his opponent, Michal Oleksiejczuk (O-lek-SHAY-chook) in an armbar. An armbar is a submission hold that applies devastating pressure on the bones in the arm and counter-pressure on the elbow. Oleksieujczuk refused to tap out. Realizing his opponent would not give up, Holland applied more pressure and Oleksieujczuk’s arm snapped . . . but still refused to tap out. Hearing the sound and seeing the broken arm limp, the referee stopped the fight to prevent further damage. Despite the condition of his arm, Oleksiejczuk maintains that his arm did not break and that he disagreed with the referee’s decision to stop the match. 

If UFC 302 were a Psalm, it would be Psalm 32. Here is the confession of David who was caught in sin but refused to confess. He is being slowly destroyed mentally, spiritually, and physically. As we go through the Psalm he describes the pain of holding on to sin.

What’s interesting is that modern medical science has found correlation between health and conscience. The Mayo Clinic and John’s Hopkins, both leading edge research hospitals, have published articles on the detrimental effects of a guilty conscience, unforgiveness, and even the refusal of one to forgive oneself. Research shows that people with prolongued guilty conscience suffer:

• Increased stress levels (raising cortisol levels in the body)

• Anger and bitterness

• Increased cholesterol levels

• Heart disease

• Reduced immune response

• The effects become more exponential as we age.

Basically this means that based on Psalm 32, it took medical science 3000 years to catch up on the damaging effects of sin on mind, body, and soul. 

Psalm 32 is David in an arm bar. He had an affair with a woman. She’s pregnant. David had the husband killed and tried to cover it up. And though no one else knows what David did, it’s killing him. The more he refuses to confess and surrender, the more intense the pain of holding on. But later in the Psalm comes the contrast of relief when David finally confesses. 

So a question we can explore in this session that connects with our condition is how much of your lingering issues of anger, stress, lack of sleep, loss of contentment, lack of happiness, body aches, poor health, marriage issues . . . might be caused because you are in an armbar but refuse to confess and be forgiven?

The Heaviness of Unconfessed Sin:

• When I kept silent – this is the catalyst for the misery. This is his refusal to tap out and describes anything a man might do to hide his sin. 

o When you make the decision to sin, sin will then start making the decisions for you, particularly when you try to hide it. 

o When this happens a man begins developing secret places in his soul. The heaviness begins when his relationships become hypocritical hiding places.

 He is conflicted

 He is not himself

 He is living a lie

 He has no fellowship because he is afraid of being found out

• Your hand was heavy upon me

o For those who know the Lord, they are familiar with this heaviness. Conviction is crushing. No matter where you go, no matter what you do, no matter even what you read in the Bible, or no matter the topic of a sermon you only hear one thing. 

o So preaching makes you miserable. You don’t want to be around your friends. You can be at the ballpark, at the lake, or sitting in a stadium with your team winning the game – but you can’t escape the misery.

• Summer heat – conviction becomes like summer heat, it drains you, wears you down and you can’t find relief.

• Sorrow – v10 he summarizes the experience as “many are the sorrows of the wicked.” Persistence in sin and a lack of confession will effect everything else in a man’s life. You can’t compartmentalize it.

The Relief of Surrender 

The Blessedness of Forgiveness:

• V. 5 – forgiveness begins with God – it is immediate. There are numerous places where the Bible reveals we have a forgiving God full of grace and mercy. We have forgiveness because of the finished work of Jesus Christ in atonement. 

o Verse 2 – the blessing is two-fold

 The Lord does not count sin

 But the man is no longer living in deceit

• V. 6 – 7 – forgiveness with God releases guilt, but confession in a fallen creation often comes with consequences. David suffered some devastating effects of his sin on his family. But a man who has truly confessed his sin to God, finds that God will help him navigate the rough waters of consequence.

• V. 8 – he makes God’s Word his guide – like a navigator steering a ship through the fog with the instruments. He can’t trust what his eyes see, but he can trust the path the instruments lay out for him.

• V. 9 – The worst thing a man can do is return to stubbornness

• V. 10-11 There is sharp contrast in two paths – choose wisely! 

Discussion Questions:

• David’s story of covering up his sin is not uncommon in men. How does hidden sin effect men: Relationally? Mentally? Physically? Spiritually?
• If sin brings such misery, why do men continue to sin and refuse to respond to conviction?
• Scan through Psalm 32. Which verse or verses describe your personal experience? How so?
• Verse 2 says that when a man confesses his sin that the Lord counts no iniquity against him.
  • Biblically, why is this true?
  • Mentally/Spiritually, why is this so difficult for men to believe?
• Verse 2 says that a man is blessed, “in whose spirit there is no deceit.”
  • Explain the meaning of this verse in your own words.
  • What is the relief in a man’s life when he doesn’t live a lie?
• Verses 6-7 refer to how a man who confesses may experience difficult consequences.
  • How does the fear of consequences keep a man from confession?
  • Scan verses 6-8 - make a list of the ways God helps a man through the consequences of confessed sin.
• Verse 9-10 refers to the stubbornness and the sorrow of a man living with unconfessed sin. What is the breaking point when a stubborn man moves from the sorrow of verse 10 to the gladdness and joy of verses 11?
• What are your takeaways from this session?