Budgeting is tough as you cut spending and make sacrifices. Making these changes can also lead to something undesirable, especially with married couples. I call them money fights!
When couples fight about money, most of the time it’s because you have what seems to be competing philosophies at work - it’s savers vs. spenders. It’s the spouse that said, "Yeah we need to budget!" and then spent $22 at Starbucks.
So how do we turn money fights into productive stewardship conversations that build marriage rather than stress the relationship? In this video Brian Branam explains how couples need to think and communicate about money.
Here are 3 quick principles from Ephesians 5 that may help you reduce money fights in your marriage.
So I want to give you 3 quick principles from that passage that applies to our money fights.
- Don’t GIVE your spouse a budget! The passage says that the husband is supposed to give his spouse love and that the wife is supposed to return respect to her husband. Making a budget will not help the marriage that lacks love and respect. Maybe the budgeting process itself is revealing some things that need to be worked on first.
- Talk about dreams before you talk about dollars. Maybe one of the reasons you’re fighting is because budgeting is boring! You sat down and started turning the screws on frivilous spending and building savings - but before you talk dollars, talk dreams. What is the goal EACH of you wants to accomplish?
- Appreciate your differences. You can’t hide money from one another. I would say that you need a joint checking account. Ephesians 5 is about becoming ONE flesh - right! So as you work the budget - it can’t be all one and none of the other. There needs to be some ideas in the budget outcome that please both spouses - and if you REALLY hit the goal - there ought to be some things in the budget that each of you are doing that display love for the wife and respect for the husband - not just dollars and decisions.
This video is a part of a larger series called 40 Days of Stewardship that covers topics such as budgeting, eliminating debt, and learning to love your job. You can access all 40 of the videos via my youtube channel.
Here is Rachel Cruz's article - 7 Steps to Stop Fighting Over Money