The Return of Sasquatch, Prescription Rain, and Other Problems With "Climate Change"

I understand that some of our SBC leaders are going beyond being environmentally conscious and are now concerned with “climate change” which is code for “global warming.” I believe a person can be a steward of the environment without riding the “climate change” bandwagon. I believe man has a responsibility to be a caregiver for God’s creation, but I am not sold on the idea that we are to blame for global temperature fluctuation. I am not sold on the idea that you can be a proper environmentalist and not believe in God. I am not sold on the idea that you can’t be an environmentalist if you don’t believe in global warming. At this point there seems to be too long of a money trail, too much politics, too much emotion, and not enough objective science to form proper conclusions about “code climate change.” But since our SBC Doctor Presidents have become impassioned over environmental concerns expressed in a seminary paper, I too would like to submit a few of my concerns for consideration:

Prescription Rain – At some point someone either solved it or we just plain forgot about acid rain. As a ten year old boy, now almost 25 years ago, I thought acid rain was cool. Now I believe we are headed for an even greater enviro disaster, prescription rain. I saw on the news this week that our water supply is tainted with trace elements of prescription drugs – hormones, pain killers, anti-depressants. I am not sure how long it will take for the Rx to find its way into the clouds, or if it is even possible, but the other day I was caught in a rainstorm – suddenly I felt like Judy Garland, slipped in a puddle, twisted my ankle and it didn’t even hurt. As inconvenient and uncomfortable as it is for me to share this truth I am willing to spearhead the documentary.

Impending Global Cooling – Since we can’t seem to get an handle on the global thermostat I fear that we may be headed for global cooling once we get rid of all the SUV’s. We may need to bottle up some CO2 just in case we overcorrect. I wonder if we can get Al Gore to set up a carbon rebate program for the ice age?

Canadian Imperialism – I don’t have anything to confirm it, but I just have a strange feeling there is a sleeping giant to our North. Too weird for you; let’s not forget, Arnold Schwarzenegger is the Governor of California and Juan Pablo Montoya is a NASCAR driver. If we are not careful the next head on Mount Rushmore may be Gretzky!

Y3K computer problem – Let’s begin now preparing for the next technological collapse. With a millennium head start we should be ready. I will buy my first bottle of water today!

Eggs – What is our position on eggs, are they good for you or not?

Bring Back Sasquatch – they took a picture of Mars that showed some sort of creature, to me it looked like Big Foot. We need to do something about this. No one has reported a sighting in a while. Sasquatch is stuck on Mars. Someone needs rescue Sasquatch and bring him back to Wisconsin where he belongs.


Mike said…
Brian, you realllly have too much going on in your head!

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