A Teaspoon of Kerosene

My daughters basically hate the doctor, but they love medicine. Kids are germ sponges so we fill prescriptions several times a year. You give them your insurance card, a driver’s license, and then the pharmacist asks you, “What flavor would you like your amoxicillin?” You can order your favorite antibiotic in a variety of delicious flavors, sort of like Dairy Queen.

When I was a kid medicine came in one flavor, kerosene. The chalky stuff for your stomach tasted like kerosene, really thick kerosene. Antibiotics, they tasted like kerosene with a hint of turpentine. Any cream they prescribed for your skin smelled like skunk and burned like acid. Now creams smell like something from Bath and Body Works and help your baby sleep through the night. My dad was a firm believer in Vicks Vapo rub. I think by now they have outlawed the stuff, but my dad believed it “would clear you up”, meaning your sinuses. He was right; it cleared you up, a nice chemical vapor blast of radiation right up the nose – works every time.

Maybe this is why pharmacies got out of the ice cream business, the medicine tastes too good, ice cream couldn’t compete. So on this note, I would like to make a suggestion, that flavor be added to certain things so that they go down more easily:

1) Criticism – seriously, if you want to criticize someone let’s go with mint. Take some time to chew some gum, really strong gum, and think things over before you speak.

2) Rejection – before you give someone a dose of rejection add the aroma of pizza, or a steak, and maybe those really fine garlic mashed potatoes at Chili’s. Buy dinner first, talk it over.

3) Gossip – if you ever feel the need to gossip eat some of those awful sour things that kids give you and then laugh when your face shrivels up. A good sour candy will definitely shut you up.

4) Advice – advice, when not asked for, can seem like criticism, again, go with mint, or maybe even the sour stuff.

5) Laughter – laughter needs no flavor, it is already good medicine (Proverbs 17:22). You need a good dose several times a day.


Jason Dollar said…
When I was a kid, my mom had some kind of smelly hot oil that predates the Vick's Vapor Rub. I can't remember what it was called, but she boiled it and than applied it to my chest and back. It was suppose to make breathing easier, but I think it just provided a third degree burn or two (just kidding mom!)

Another thing we might ought to flavor is the silent treatment. Maybe we should flavor it with hot sauce - I mean really really hot sauce. I'm not sure why, but that sounds pretty good.

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