Why I Could Not Continue Watching Netflix's Death of a Pastor's Wife
Yes. 2 of the 3 episodes, but I didn’t finish it. It made me angry and I turned it off.
Is the pastor a fraud? Absolutely. And while he made me angry that’s not why I turned it off.
Was it the victimization and manipulation of Mica Miller that made me mad?
It’s hard to watch. She’s a case study on how choosing sin will lead you into the lair of the thief who wants to steal, kill, and destroy. Her joy was stolen. Her marriage was murdered. Her life and the testimony of service she so longed for before the Lord was destroyed.
Seeing her destroyed grieved me. It angered me. But that’s not why I turned it off.
What made me so angry I could not continue was not just the death of the pastor’s wife but the death of ecclesiology. It was the willful ignorance of a Biblically illiterate congregation that pushed me over the edge. A congregation as culpable as their leader in the death of the pastor’s wife. They made me angry.
What is a Church?
What you are watching on Netflix is not the story of a church.
What is a church?
In his letter to Pastor Timothy, Paul makes a profound statement about the identity of the church. He says:
I hope to come to you soon, but I am writing these things to you so that, if I delay, you may know how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, a pillar and buttress of the truth. 1 Timothy 3:14-15
In the documentary, JP Miller boasts that one of God’s blessings despite his trials is that Solid Rock was named Best of the Beach Church (Myrtle Beach, SC) for the 4th time.
Firstly, this “reader’s choice” award going to Solid Rock church shows the worth of an award given to a church by the world.
But secondly, Solid Rock should have been disqualified from winning the award because a church – it is not. The sheer disregard for Scriptural truth makes Solid Rock a cult at best, but hardly a Christian church.
The fact that a church “of the living God”, is a “pillar and buttress of the truth” the operative question asked of a congregation in the midst of scandal can’t be, “But what will this do to the reputation or momentum Solid Rock?” The question of a church in any given situation must be, what does the Bible say?
A church isn’t about the brand. The church is about the Bible.
When a congregation shelves the Bible for the sake of the brand it ceases to be a church and becomes a cult of personality.
Which brings me to my second point.
Who is qualified to be pastor?
The Bible states the qualities of a Pastor and/or Elder (both positions of which are mentioned in the docuseries) in 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:5-9.
A lady who is interviewed often in each episode mentions “red flags.” Excellent. Let’s raise some red flags, shall we?
Let’s keep 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:5-9 before us, compare them to JP’s actions and see if anything makes its way up the flag pole of discernment. I will acknowledge that there are various angles of interpretation on these passages, but even the broadest of interpretations should see red flags when:
1) The pastor’s marriage is floundering because he’s having an affair – red flag.
2) He divorces his wife due to having an affair – red flag.
3) He divorces his wife due to having an affair with a woman on staff, whose husband is also on staff – red flag.
4) He begins dating the woman with which he had the affair – red flag.
5) While openly dating the woman with whom he had the affair, his other girlfriend comes walking into choir practice – red flag.
6) He marries the woman with which he had the affair – red flag.
7) He calls an elder to go to the airport and pick up a girl he’s going to meet up with – red flag.
8) While his second marriage is failing, most of the congregation knows he’s having an affair with a recently widowed woman (to whom he’s now apparently married) – red flag.
The pole if full of flags yet he remains your pastor? – red flag!
The docuseries mentions numerous accounts of sexual misconduct, manipulation, and grooming – of which numerous people were admittedly aware.
There is NO WAY a “church” that has a Bible, reads it, and applies it allows a monster like JP Miller to continue exercising authority over them. It is mentioned in the documentary that the church was setup to shield the pastor – again – red flag!
Even if that is the case, the church building should have been empty but from the scenes I saw – it was full in pretty much every shot. HEY - congregation – the by-laws may have shielded JP and the “yes men” he called elders may have protected him – buy it’s your butt that’s still in the seat!
If JP wanted to remain pastor, he could stand in an empty building and preach to himself. Shame on the sheep who continued to attend the cult and feed the wolf! You are as culpable as the man you followed as pastor.
What is Forgiveness and Restoration?
After the first moral failure of JP, some of the people interviewed defended their decision to continue to follow JP as pastor as an exercise of forgiveness and restoration.
Whatever your understanding of forgiveness and restoration may be, Biblical forgiveness and restoration does not require you to restore a pastor who has used spiritual authority to destroy marriages, groom young women, cover up his sexual perversion, and mentally abuse his wife.
Grace is not an enabler.
You can forgive. But he has forfeited his Biblical authority and opportunity to lead.
Shame on you Solid Rock church cult. You used a perverted understanding forgiveness to enable an and empower an abuser.
The documentary is not just the death of the pastor’s wife. It is the death of Biblical congregational polity. It is a documentary about the death of a church.
Takeaways
Our takeaway from the documentary has to be better than a post on social media that says JP Miller is full of poop emojis. It has to be more than pastors are full of poop emojis.
Hey, the Bible warns you that there would be lots of pastor poop emojis. Don’t think that Netflix has uncovered a scandal that the Bible didn’t warn you about. Netflix is 2000 years too late on that.
See Matthew 7:15, Romans 16:17, 2 Timothy 4:3-4, 2 Peter 2:1 and several others.
Our response needs to be Biblical discernment and congregational responsibility.
A “Best of the Best” award does not a church make.
A charismatic personality does not a pastor make.
Great music isn’t worship.
Open your Bible and read it. God’s Word will equip you to see past personalities and performances and see the wolves.
The Bible will help you discern deceit but it will also help you discover authenticity. The real thing does exist.
Pastors and elders worthy of honor who find the approval of God are out there (1 Tim. 5:17, 2 Tim. 2:15). They may not be the most captivating or have the biggest following, but they don’t plagiarize sermons, send inappropriate texts to women, groom staff wives, or level lawsuits. They just love their families, study the Word, and shepherd you as the flock of God.
The church of the living God that Paul describes to Timothy as the pillar and buttress of truth exists. In their local manifestations they may not win awards, have professional musicians, or offer the most quality Sunday experience . . . but the presence of God is in them. He is there.
At the end of the day, there are poop emoji pastors and poop emoji personality cults masquerading as churches. But unless you, the congregation, take responsibility to pick up a Bible and read it for yourself, poop emoji’s like JP Miller will become pastors and victimize people.
As long as you don’t read the Bible, cults masquerading as churches will create powerful toxic structures that shield influential personalities.
But most importantly, unless you pick up the Bible, read it, and do it . . . you’ll miss the real thing, the right thing, where the living God is at work and the beautiful buttress of Biblical truth rests upon a firm foundation.
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