10 Reasons I Will Not Be Running
Apparently tonight is the deadline to register for the Peachtree Road Race in Atlanta. I feel the need to share 10 reasons I will not be a part of this year’s field:
10. There are over 70,000 people in the race. Even if I were lucky enough to pass 30,000 people I would still have to tell my buddies that I finished in the 40,000’s. No pride in that.
9. The race is a 10k. I need less “k.”
8. The bathroom scale says 214 baby! Need I say more?
7. Are the Kenyans running again this year? Well we know one thing, a guy named Bubba won't win.
6. The water stations don’t serve Bar-B-Que.
5. I run all those “k’s” and all I get is a crummy T-shirt?
4. I have a phobia of being passed by women pushing strollers.
3. I run a 10 minute mile. I’m not proficient on metric conversion, but the way I figure it, at that pace a 10k on July 4 would take me well into July 5.
2. I lost my entry form in my wife’s extreme couponing notebook.
1. The race is on July 4. I grew up in Georgia and know full well that only fools run on July 4 in Georgia. Momma didn’t raise no fool!
10. There are over 70,000 people in the race. Even if I were lucky enough to pass 30,000 people I would still have to tell my buddies that I finished in the 40,000’s. No pride in that.
9. The race is a 10k. I need less “k.”
8. The bathroom scale says 214 baby! Need I say more?
7. Are the Kenyans running again this year? Well we know one thing, a guy named Bubba won't win.
6. The water stations don’t serve Bar-B-Que.
5. I run all those “k’s” and all I get is a crummy T-shirt?
4. I have a phobia of being passed by women pushing strollers.
3. I run a 10 minute mile. I’m not proficient on metric conversion, but the way I figure it, at that pace a 10k on July 4 would take me well into July 5.
2. I lost my entry form in my wife’s extreme couponing notebook.
1. The race is on July 4. I grew up in Georgia and know full well that only fools run on July 4 in Georgia. Momma didn’t raise no fool!
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