Dr. Allen Ross at Ridgecrest Baptist Church

Dr. Allen Ross, professor of Old Testament and Hebrew at Beeson Divinity School, will be with us at Ridgecrest this weekend for our first annual Bible conference. Dr. Ross is a leading Old Testament scholar and the author of several books including Introducing Biblical Hebrew and Grammar, Holiness to the Lord: A Guide to the Exposition of the Book of Leviticus, Creation and Blessing: A Guide to the Study and Exposition of Genesis, and Recalling the Hope of Glory: Biblical Worship from the Garden to the New Creation.

I met with Dr. Ross this morning and he alerted me to an invaluable resource he has published on the internet containing a massive amount of his teaching and preaching material. The website is http://www.christianleadershipcenter.org/ . This website is not only a great resource for pastors, laymen, and teachers, but it is dedicated to helping the serious Bible student develop good Bible study skills.
Dr. Ross will be teaching from the Book of Psalms this weekend (Jan. 29-31). The schedule is as follows (childcare and children’s activities provided during each session):

Friday, 7 – 10 p.m.
Saturday 9 a.m. – 12 p.m.; 4 – 6 p.m.
Sunday 9:30 & 11 a.m.

Ridgecrest is located at 7773 Gadsden Hwy. in Trussville, AL. CD copies of each session will be available for purchase.

Changing the Tone of Marriage (Listening)

One problem of communication in marriage is that there is too much talking and not enough listening. Americans hear almost everything but listen to almost nothing. In a media driven culture we innately learn to tune in and tune out with lightening speed. This “switching channels” mentality does not bode well for marriage. If you are going to be effective in communicating with your spouse you must learn to listen.

Listening is more important than talking. Proverbs 1:5 says, “Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance.” Wise people listen more and talk less. They seek understanding. Remember, communication is not talking, communication is being understood. James 1:19 says, “Know this, my beloved brothers; let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger . . .” James must have known my grandmother. She used to say that God gave you two ears and one mouth, talk less, listen more. Ironically, she was quite the talker! When you visited her you mainly sat and listened. Maybe that was her point!

Because we are prone to listen less and mentally switch channels frequently, most people are thinking about what they want to say next and not actually listening to what is being said. In essence, when couples talk there are two monologues, but not real dialogue. This is why communication in marriage is often frustrating. Not frustrating because of what is being said as much as what is not being heard and understood.

Here are a few good policies for good listening:

1. Develop a habit of pausing before you speak. In this way you not only give your mind time to process thought, but it is good etiquette in making sure the person talking is finished and you are not interrupting.

2. Remember, no one reads minds. You may think you know what is being said, but refrain from mentally completing the other person’s sentences. Let them talk. You listen.

3. Use reflective questions that seek to clarify and summarize the way you understand what was just said. “So what you are trying to say is . . . is that correct?” Or, “What do you mean by . . .?” These questions make sure that you are not simply hearing words, but that you are understanding. These questions also keep you focused on the conversation and send a positive message to the other person that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say.

Be a Man (sermon audio: Sunday a.m.)

In the context of a Christian marriage, God is very clear about the roles of each spouse and how they should relate to each other. In the sermon, “Be a Man” we discover from Ephesians 5 the characteristics of a Spirit filled man. His walk with Christ should be obvious and the love for his wife sacrificial.

Listen to audio

One Of the Many Reasons I am Southern Baptist - Haiti Relief

Have you given to disaster relief in Haiti? If you have given an offering at a cooperating Southern Baptist Church in the past year, you have. The Cooperative Program is a fund to which Southern Baptist churches contribute, for the purpose of missions, evangelism, and education. Each church determines a percentage that will be taken from their weekly general offering and designated to the cooperative program. For instance, if a church you attend determines to give 10% to the Cooperative Program, 10 cents of every dollar you give goes to the Cooperative Program. Simply stated, your giving will support the efforts of Southern Baptists in your state, in North America, and around the world. A big part of the Southern Baptist mission is disaster relief. Southern Baptists are great at disaster relief - not so good at advertising. Therefore it looks like the UN and the Red Cross are at the forefront of disaster relief. Not so fast. In the face of almost every disaster there is also an army of yellow hats, shirts, and vests warn by volunteers from the Southern Baptist Convention. CNN may not give the SBC a lot of face time, but we are there. In fact, the SBC is the 2nd largest disaster relief organization in the world behind the Red Cross. We are 2nd, as I understand it, only because we are in partnership with the Red Cross and they count SBC volunteers as their own.

There is a lot of information about the efforts of Southern Baptist and disaster relief that I am not comfortable sharing without proper documentation. I hear many great stats, but I don’t have access to them. I would love for some of our SBC leaders to help get the word out, maybe respond to my blog (hint, hint). Let us know what is going on exactly. In the meantime here are some links so you can explore opportunities to serve and to give through Southern Baptist Disaster Relief. If you have more links or info. to share, please do so.

Haiti Relief through the Florida Baptist Convention

International Mission Board

How you can help in Haiti - IMB

SBC Disaster Relief Home Page

Baptist Global Response

Changing the Tone of Marriage (New Language)

This past fall I took an introductory Hebrew class. The first night of the class was an introduction to the Hebrew alphabet, pronunciation, articles, and nouns. It was completely overwhelming. As a closing comment for the evening our professor said, “Take comfort, there are three years olds all over Israel who are learning to do what you just did.” His point was made even more clearly by my five year old daughter, who, just the week before started K-5. She was learning the alphabet. So was I. She was learning to write letters, huge ones, tracing them with directional arrows. So was I. She sounded out words at a laborious pace. So did I. Learning a new language at 36 is a brain transplant.

When you get married you will be forced to learn a new language. Communication begins with someone having something to say. He speaks. Interpretation begins. She reacts very differently to what he said than did his work colleagues, or college roommates, or even his dearest mommy. Or perhaps the lady of the house has something she would like to share, so she shares. Yet, he is not nearly as attentive as her mom, or as the girls with whom she has already shared. His answer is quick, simple, direct, case closed. But she feels as if there is much more to say. He is done! She is not. Obviously, something was lost in translation.

I have travelled to foreign countries. I have also lived in middle Tennessee which carries quite a population of Hispanic field hands during harvest season. For some reason when we are speaking with someone who does not understand our language we naturally believe that if we talk slower and louder the foreign party is somehow more likely to understand what we are saying. Just believe me when I say that slow, loud English to a Romanian is just as comedic as English at normal speed. In marriage it is nearly the same scenario. Yet in marriage we believe that if things are lost in translation we need to say more and say it loudly. Yelling loudly changes the tone of marriage, but instead of improving communication it is a step in the wrong direction.

Effective marital communication is an exercise in linguistics. It requires the study of your spouse. What does he/she understand? How does he/she react when you say, or do “x” or “y”? Take notes! Marriage, in a sense, requires lessons in language. Here are some principles to remember:

1. What you don’t say is as important as what you do. Proverbs 10:19 says, “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” When there is trouble in communication we are apt to say more. In doing so we are usually apt to hurt more. When we speak without thought we are prone to make painful mistakes. Learn your spouse’s language and become fluent in it. Use his or her words, not just your own. It will save a lot of pain.

2. The most important question is not, “What do I want to say?” The most important question is, “What do I want my spouse to understand?” This question flips the burden of proof. It requires you to think before you talk. It requires you to practice love and sensitivity before you practice speech. It requires you to speak the other person’s language.

3. Evaluate yourself as a messenger. Proverbs 15:2 says, “The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly.” If you find it constantly frustrating to talk, the problem may not be with the receiver, the problem may be with the messenger. Sure, it takes two to tango, but learning to communicate more effectively will always help the dance!

4. No one reads minds. Women are pretty close, but they have yet to perfect the art. CONFESSION: My biggest challenge in communication is that I somehow believe what is in my brain is naturally in everyone else’s brain. In believing other humans share a common brain with me I am prone to leave out very important details. For me, the phrase, “speak your mind” would be a massive improvement in communication. Learning to effectively and lovingly communicate your mind, instead of assuming everyone else is reading it, may also improve your marriage.

When it comes to marriage we must learn a new language. Married lingo is different from dating lingo. Get out the pen and paper, take notes, and sound out the words. Take comfort, three year olds all over America are learning a new language as well.

Changing the Tone of Marriage (The Script)

The most difficult and frustrating part of marriage is communication. One way to measure the amount of happiness in a marriage is to measure the level at which each person involved is understood. Thus the proper question to ask is not how often do you talk, but are you understood? Most women use their quota of words in a given day. Women have no problem talking, but in marriage women often feel misunderstood. Men say what they mean and mean what they say, but still wonder why their wives “don’t have a clue.” Communication is more than just saying words. Communication is being understood.

A lot can go wrong in communication, and usually does. Most couples can write the script. If there is something meaningful in marriage that needs to be discussed many couples had rather ignore the issue than live the tragedy. She will bring up, “x.” He will say, “y.” There will be yelling. She will be hurt by his words. He will wonder why she constantly brings these things up. She will slam door 1. He will slam door 2. The dust will eventually settle and the home will return to normalcy. Yet normalcy is nothing more than unspoken tension birthed in mutual misunderstanding.

Being misunderstood can make you hate the one you love. It will kill intimacy, destroy happiness, and sever the bond of marriage. So how do we get it together and achieve understanding? Understanding is marriage’s greatest challenge. Are you ready to burn the tragic script that most often describes the course of marital conversation, or lack thereof? Wouldn’t you like to see a new script in your marriage, one with a much happier ending? The key is in learning to speak a different language, learning to listen, and changing the tone of marriage.

To be continued.

Let's Talk (sermon audio: Sunday a.m.)

Communication can often be one of the most important elements in your marriage, but also one of the most difficult. We must learn from Scripture to speak less and listen more. Conversations often escalate to arguments because couples are more interested in winning a fight than genuinely caring about what their spouse is trying to say. The tone of our voice, timing, and disrespect are all elements of our character that can work against us in a marriage. However, God’s desire is for our marriages to perpetuate peace and righteousness in our homes and lives.

Listen to Audio

Married Alone (Raising Children)

Children are a blessing (Psalm 127), but there is only one word that captures what it is like to raise them, exhausting. It takes a lot of effort and energy to raise children. Raising children, like managing money, is an area that will subdue your marriage if you do not work together. If a couple does not help one another with the children it will begin to drive a wedge in the marriage and one partner will begin to feel alone.

Troubled couples allow the duty of raising children to separate the marriage. This can happen in various ways.

1. Leaving one spouse alone to tackle the messy jobs. Kids are messy. Help each other out.

2. One spouse is the hero, the other is the villain. When it comes to disciplining children the key word is support, especially if your children are teens. Mom and dad need to present a united front.

3. Refusal of relief. Realize that both of you are looking for relief. There are times when she has had enough of the kids and he has had enough of the world. Both spouses want rescue, but instead of fulfilling a common goal together, each spouse runs for shelter. The loser usually gets a bit perturbed. Talk about a plan that will help each spouse meet the common goal. Maybe he would be a much happier man if he could just count on 15 minutes to change clothes without hearing the laundry list at the door. If she could look forward to him taking the kids to the yard for some quiet time, or uninterrupted clean up, “Honey I’m home”, may be the greatest moment of her day – which would certainly change her tune. If both spouses work outside the home, the value of relief is even higher, but the principle remains the same. In order for marriage to be successful man and woman must work together for a common goal.

4. Marrying your children. NEVER PUT CHILDREN BEFORE MARRIAGE. Many couples begin to separate at birth. By birth I mean the birth of the children. If the marriage is forgotten for 18 years, there will be nothing left to recover when Jr. moves away. Parents should communicate, nonverbally, that your spouse is your first love. Kids need to see and hear that message! Do not allow your children to disrespect your spouse. Let them see you hug and kiss. Never create teams and pick the kids to be on yours vs. your spouse.

5. Allowing children to have free reign in the home. Kids will subdue your house if you let them. Kids need boundaries, and so do their toys. Your bedroom is not theirs, neither is the kitchen, the living room, or the yard. If a child brings a toy into one of these spaces, teach them to clean it up as quickly as they brought it in. Furthermore, GET THE BABIES OUT OF YOUR BED! This is not only a proven health risk to infant children, but it kills intimacy. I should also add that if you want certain things to happen spontaneously in the bedroom – put the dog in the backyard, not between the two of you in the bed.

6. Allowing your children to overtake your schedule. The American family drank the Kool-Aid when it comes to believing that their children are destined to be professional athletes, dancers, cheerleaders, pianists, and quiz bowl champs. Sadly, when the kids get enrolled on every team for every season, most couples don’t have time to be married. The soccer team replaces the spouse. Kids need a break – your marriage needs rest – cut the schedule down and recover some time to work on being married.

7. Allowing your kids to be unruly. The phrase “They’re just boys” or “kids will be kids” should not be used as code words for “My kids are out of control, please excuse the chaos.” Proverbs 29:15 says, “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” An unruly child shames and separates a family. It takes two to discipline. Work together to train your children.

Children are a great blessing, but remember, you didn’t get married just to have children. You married one another to work together to subdue (Gen. 2:18, 1:28). Don’t allow your spouse to feel alone in raising the children and don’t allow the responsibility of raising children to subdue your marriage.

Married Alone (Money)

One reason God created marriage is so that man and woman could work together to subdue the Earth (Gen. 1:28). God formed the Earth out of chaos; our job is to keep existence trending towards order rather than returning to chaos. Yet it seems life has a natural tilt toward the chaotic. Left to themselves, certain areas of existence will quickly spiral out of control; like the bathroom sink of a five year old. Five year olds do not have the proper motor skills required to balance a dollop of AIM on a toothpaste, gently wet it under a trickle of water, and stick it in their mouth. Five year olds also lack the ability to spit. At five they spray, they do not spit. It doesn’t take long for our daughter’s bathroom sink to descend into chaos. In about three days it looks like a tube of toothpaste was attacked by a serial killer. There is toothpaste blood everywhere.

Money is one of those areas where there will be blood in the marriage if there is not control. Money will subdue a marriage. Money is also one of those areas where one spouse or the other can begin to feel alone, which is never good (Gen. 2:18). Here are some practical tips on money and marriage that will help you work together, conquer a growing sense of separation between you and your spouse, and subdue the finance beast.

1. Develop a budget plan and follow it! Many marriages exist with two financial plans, his and hers. If the attitude of the marriage is his money and her money there will be separation. If there are two checking accounts, there may already be problems. Many spouses feel that they cannot trust their significant other with the finances. Perhaps it was a mistake in the past, something hidden, or a careless attitude. In any event the separate checkbooks tell a tale, “You are separate and alone.” If things are to this point, I would surmise there are some serious issues in the marriage that have nothing to do with money, but perhaps sitting down and creating a budget TOGETHER may be a good step in the right direction.

2. Stop frivolous spending. If you do not have a spending plan (i.e. budget) you will be prone to frivolous spending. A budget says we have X amount of dollars, so go to the store for the purpose of buying 1 pair of $X pants. Budgeted people drive to the store, hunt and purchase one pair of pants – then drive home! Non-budgeted people drive to several stores, see lots of things and buy them all. Instead of returning home with one bag of pants, there is also a bag of shirts, some shoes, a knife, a clock, a game, a dog, a sink, and a really nice toothbrush that plays music. Many bags kill marriages. Work together, plan together, spend together, and stay together. If you have a budget, you will stop frivolous spending. Not long after we were married my wife and I created a budget. In doing so we realized we were funding a small country by eating out – like Mexico, because we ate so much Mexican food. The budget was not only an eye opener, but also a good weight loss plan. We ate out less and lost a bunch of weight.

3. Get out of debt. If you create a budget you will soon see how much wealth you could build if you did not owe so many people so much money. Proverbs 22:7 says that the borrower is a slave to the lender. I like what Dave Ramsey teaches about debt. We are under the delusion that debt is a means of building wealth – WRONG! You do not own anything you borrow. Stop paying for it and you will soon see who actually owns your life. Cut up the credit cards, they may be killing your marriage. Proverbs 28:20 says that wealth is built slowly, with a faithful plan. You cannot borrow your way into prosperity.

4. Learn to be content. Proverbs 27:27 says, “Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied, and never satisfied are the eyes of man.” Go ahead and concede that you will never have enough. There is no amount of “stuff” you can own that will satisfy your “wanter.” If you buy what you want, they will make more, and version 2.0 will be even better than yours. Look at all of the garbage in your garage, attic, or closet – it is a testimony that your “wanter” is killing you financially. Budget planning may not quiet your “wanter”, but it will cage it.

When it comes to money, get together or suffer separation. Money will soon subdue a marriage if there is not a common plan. Help one another slay the finance beast.

Haiti Disaster Relief

Here is a link to information concerning disaster relief through the Alabama State Board of Missions and the North American Mission Board:


http://www.alsbom.org/templates/System/details.asp?id=36469&PID=753329

Married Alone (Attitude)

In the previous post we discussed the danger of one or more partner in marriage feeling alone. When someone feels as if they have been left to fend for themselves, to do all the necessary work, or to clean up the mess it will change one spouses’ opinion of the other. Proverbs 17:22 says, “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” When there is a good attitude within the marriage that attitude serves to foster and nurture the marriage through almost any trial of life. Here is an example in microcosm. The three year old spills milk, as three year olds are prone to do. But instead of the wife responding alone, the husband also jumps up instinctively to help with the mess. Such movement comes from attitude and understanding a key component in marriage, that of covenant partnership; of simply helping one another to subdue. If a husband is instinctive about spilled milk he will foster in his wife a joyful heart. There will be other spills, more cataclysmic ones, and she will know that in the fire she will not be abandoned. "A joyful heart is good medicine."

What about the other side of the coin? She cleans up all the spills. Or, he feels as if he is alone in monitoring the finances, trying to keep the family afloat. She is constantly at her mother’s house. He is constantly on the computer. The two are alone, but even more dangerous their attitudes toward one another will begin to change. Their spirit is crushed and their bones begin to dry up. Love fades. The perception becomes that you are no longer married to your partner, but to your saboteur. “He doesn’t care.” “She can’t handle money.” “He is lazy.” “She is a nag.” “He is self-absorbed.” “She doesn’t respect me.” Those attitudes permeate the marriage and begin to change the tone of every conversation, chore, and mundane moment. If “she can’t handle money,” then her simply ordering an appetizer at Applebees looks to him as if it is an act of conspiracy. Cheese sticks become just one more blatant move to test his patience. Not only is she inept at handling the check book, but she is careless with her own health. If she wouldn’t nag him so much but take a look in the mirror every once in awhile maybe she would order more celery and less cheese - cheese sticks are not longer cheese sticks, but dynamite. But he doesn’t care about the kids, or her, or that she is hungry. If he took even a minute of interest in her or the family he would know she had a coupon and that she hadn’t eaten a bite since breakfast. Even that bite was the corner of a mutilated, slobbered on pop tart that the baby gummed. She deserves cheese sticks and diamonds but he is too much of a moron to know the difference between the two. “A crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

It is not good for man to be alone. When man is alone his joy will steadily disintegrate. If you want a better attitude in your marriage, get together, renew the partnership. Husband and wife, together, rush toward spilled milk. And by the way, enjoy a plate of cheese sticks!

To be continued

Married Alone (Attitude)

In the previous post we discussed the danger of one or more partner in marriage feeling alone. When someone feels as if they have been left to fend for themselves, to do all the necessary work, or to clean up the mess it will change one spouses’ opinion of the other. Proverbs 17:22 says, “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” When there is a good attitude within the marriage that attitude serves to foster and nurture the marriage through almost any trial of life. Here is an example in microcosm. The three year old spills milk, as three year olds are prone to do. But instead of the wife responding alone, the husband also jumps up instinctively to help with the mess. Such movement comes from attitude and understanding a key component in marriage, that of covenant partnership; of simply helping one another to subdue. If a husband is instinctive about spilled milk he will foster in his wife a joyful heart. There will be other spills, more cataclysmic ones, and she will know that in the fire she will not be abandoned. "A joyful heart is good medicine."

What about the other side of the coin? She cleans up all the spills. Or, he feels as if he is alone in monitoring the finances, trying to keep the family afloat. She is constantly at her mother’s house. He is constantly on the computer. The two are alone, but even more dangerous their attitudes toward one another will begin to change. Their spirit is crushed and their bones begin to dry up. Love fades. The perception becomes that you are no longer married to your partner, but to your saboteur. “He doesn’t care.” “She can’t handle money.” “He is lazy.” “She is a nag.” “He is self-absorbed.” “She doesn’t respect me.” Those attitudes permeate the marriage and begin to change the tone of every conversation, chore, and mundane moment. If “she can’t handle money,” then her simply ordering an appetizer at Applebees looks to him as if it is an act of conspiracy. Cheese sticks become just one more blatant move to test his patience. Not only is she inept at handling the check book, but she is careless with her own health. If she wouldn’t nag him so much but take a look in the mirror every once in awhile maybe she would order more celery and less cheese - cheese sticks are not longer cheese sticks, but dynamite. But he doesn’t care about the kids, or her, or that she is hungry. If he took even a minute of interest in her or the family he would know she had a coupon and that she hadn’t eaten a bite since breakfast. Even that bite was the corner of a mutilated, slobbered on pop tart that the baby gummed. She deserves cheese sticks and diamonds but he is too much of a moron to know the difference between the two. “A crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

It is not good for man to be alone. When man is alone his joy will steadily disintegrate. If you want a better attitude in your marriage, get together, renew the partnership. Husband and wife, together, rush toward spilled milk. And by the way, enjoy a plate of cheese sticks!

To be continued

Home Improvement (sermon audio: Sunday a.m.)

The marriage union is constantly threatened by issues that create a sense of separation. In this sermon, we discuss three areas that are at work to subdue and drive a wedge in the marriage bond. These are money, kids, and in-laws. Here are some practical ways from the book of Proverbs on how to keep a good attitude and prevent separation in your marriage.

Listen to audio

Married Alone

There may be two people standing at the altar in the wedding photo album, but if there were a photo taken that reflected the current state of the marriage; it would show two people standing alone. Two people, alone, how is that possible? An odd and paradoxical thought, it is, but it is also a reality. Many people are married, live together in the same house, but the two exist virtually alone.

God’s design for marriage is for two people to become one. God said that, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him (Genesis 2:18).” A helper? Notice that God did not create man a mate. Dogs mate. Horses mate. By the way, the KJV doesn’t say “mate”, the word is “meet.” Some people practice a more animalistic, loose sex life, but people were not designed to mate, people were designed by God to bind. Dogs and cats can fill the Earth; roaches are pretty close to finishing! People were designed by God to fill it and subdue it. Back to the original question, why does man need a helper? Man needed a helper to do two things, reproduce and subdue (Gen. 1:28). To subdue the Earth means to bring it into subjection. Sin did not curse man to work. Man has always had a job. The job of man is to manage the planet in such a way that reflects the Lordship of its Creator. The curse of sin has made this work exponentially more difficult (3:19), but even though we sinned, we were not fired. We are still on the payroll.

When two people join together for marriage they sign up to subdue. The task is to do what the boss did, move the planet from chaos to form (Gen. 1). Our planet, especially affected by sin, is prone to chaos. It is in desperate need of meaning, form. So we marry, for love, for life, and for work. Two become one, then comes the thorns. If you don’t work at marriage and in marriage you will be subdued by chaos. Whether it be the chaos of finances, raising children, work, family, trauma, stress . . . every area of life has roses but it also has thorns. If we do not work to subdue the chaos, we will be subdued and separated. The two will not become one. The two will become “alone” again. It is not good for man to be alone.

She feels as if she is alone in raising the children. He does not discipline them. He does not clean up the messes children create. He does not take them to all the places kids need to go. “She and he” produced children, but now when it comes to raising them, “she” feels alone. She spends all the money “he” works so hard bring in. She doesn’t understand the pressures “he” feels at work. She doesn’t give him time to “relax.” He feels “alone.” He needs rescue from work. She needs rescue from children. They need each other to do the same thing, but because of the conflicting tension, they are alone.

From this point, you could write the blog. This scenario plays out in every venue of life and it always results in one destination, two people alone. Two people subdued and separated. If this is your story, it is time to go back to work both “at” marriage and “in” marriage. It is time to get back together, back to one, and SUBDUE. If you are married, you should not be alone. You need help – by design.

To be continued . . .

Ruth Uncovered

When we made our move to Trussville we decided to exchange the name “Sunday School”, which generally implies Christian education classes that meet on Sunday, for CLG, or Christian Life Group, a term we felt better reflected our purpose for Christian education and the fact that not all of our groups meet on Sunday. Most of us, including myself, steeped in SBC tradition still slip up and use the term Sunday School. So yesterday, when confronted several times with the question, “Have you read today’s Sunday School lesson,” I knew something was stirring in our CLG’s.

The ruckus is over Ruth. In Lifeway’s Masterwork series Ralph Douglas West has written a provocative account of the biblical narrative found in Ruth 3. In short, West portrays Ruth and Naomi as two women of great faith who tiptoed and toyed with sexual scandal. In Ruth 3 the biblical writer shares an account of how Naomi and Ruth scheme to secure the favor of Boaz as Ruth’s kinsman redeemer. To do so, Naomi instructs Ruth to visit Boaz at the threshing floor, in the middle of the night, “uncover his feet, and lie down.” West does not paint them innocent and makes some shocking statements about their character. “Naomi sometimes seems like a saint and sometimes like a hussy. Her advice borders on the worldly, but it also borders on the godly (p. 61).”

The nuances of this story West exposes make for fun debates in Seminaries, but not in Sunday Schools. In his writing West is very forthright and leaves very little to the imagination. For laymen who are accustomed to a less descript interpretation of Ruth, West’s portrayal of the incident was shocking. So shocking that I am not sure any of our CLG’s were able to concentrate on the ultimate teaching of West from Ruth 3. The intended message of Ruth 3 and West is that God is working in love to redeem a sometimes troubling and puzzling world. I’m not sure any of our CLG students were as concerned about what God was trying to do through Ruth as they were about West and what was, in their minds, a scandalous portrayal of Ruth.

So where do I land on this?

1. There is nothing that West writes in his interpretation of Ruth that I have not read or heard before. West has said nothing new. I think on his behalf, that is a very important point. There is no denying that there is a sexual nuance to Ruth and Naomi’s plot that is not well conveyed in the English interpretation of the text. There is no doubt that in the original language the phrase rendered “uncover his feet” can be taken as an idiom to suggest that Ruth should expose Boaz’s genitalia. I think West is right in acknowledging that the Bible is not quite as white washed as we would like to think. The Bible is at times an ugly story and within that ugliness God is working to redeem His people. As is certainly the case in the chronological context of Ruth as it falls “In the days when the judges ruled (1:1).” At times the Biblical text is scandalous, sexual, devious, and disturbing. Yet our God is good. He is able to redeem a very troubling world.

2. Even if one did not dig into the Hebrew, the English in Ruth 3 is sufficient enough to suggest there is a sexual risk to the plot. In that way I guess we could say it is risqué. Noami states that Boaz is around young women during this time of the year (v. 2) and there is a danger of being assaulted (2:22). It is true that during the time of threshing men would sleep near their harvest. It was not uncommon for women to visit them in the night and the threshing floors look more like Bourbon Street. While this may be true, we cannot say that in the way Ruth 3 is written, that this cultural nuance plays a major role in the plot of the story.

3. Most commentators agree that Naomi was taking a big risk with Ruth’s reputation and her life. He could have taken advantage of her sexually. He could have labeled her a whore. Or he could have done as he did, which was to initiate steps necessary to redeeming Ruth and making her his bride. While most readers can easily discern the risk, we should not allow our imaginations to overshadow the story. The Biblical narrator goes to great lengths to establish the reputations of Naomi, Boaz, and Ruth. We cannot ignore Naomi’s confidence that things would turn out in their favor. She tells Ruth, “Go and uncover his feet and lie down, and he will tell you what to do.” That is exactly what Boaz did. We should not make this story as much of a sexual gamble. Naomi and Ruth were not gambling on sex, they were banking on virtue. Naomi was a righteous woman who knew how to secure a virtuous future for her widowed daughter-in-law. Ruth was a woman with a virtuous reputation which Boaz recognized immediately (3:11). Boaz was a man of great virtue (2:1). Naomi knew Boaz’s character. Boaz knew the character of Ruth. Virtue prevailed, and in Naomi’s eyes there was no surprise as to the outcome. Therefore there is no need for West to portray this as “Naomi’s racy experiment (p. 63).”

4. I think where West may have become most offensive is in his very cavalier manner of retelling the story. I have noticed this trend in preachers and in writing, that we feel the need to “Americanize” a Biblical account, making it more like a Hollywood script than a sacred text. When it comes to the Biblical text we should recognize it as Holy and reverence the fact that it says what it says the way it says it. We should not say what it says the way we want to say it. There are several instances in which West runs roughshod over the Biblical text and injects his own interpretation. What may be even more of a mistake is that West makes no indication that his quotations are more of his own summation than what the Bible actually says. It takes little discernment to see that this is the case, but as a pastor who spends a great deal of time studying the text, even I am left throwing up my hands at West and asking, “Where in the world did you get this?” For instance:

a. Page 62, “Boaz will have been working hard all day, and his muscles will be wearied by the stress of harvest. Go out and work near where Boaz works. Here’s what I want you to do while he is working. Go in and bathe yourself, make yourself presentable. Daughter, I know the aloes that you normally bathe with would be odorous enough, but do a little extra-go a little further. Put on your best perfume. Yeah! Put it on, girl. Let down your hair. Get rid of that hideous bun you usually wear when you’re working in the fields. Remember that peignoir you used to wear when you were married? Dig it out! Put it on! Don’t be too forward, but don’t be afraid to be enticing. Tempt him . . . keep your chastity . . . but tempt him!”

b. Page 62, “She moved in compliance. Naomi had told her, ‘What I want you to do is walk down to where Boaz will be resting for the night. Now, Ruth, it can become rather tricky, because as you know the field hands often bring their prostitutes to the threshing floor. Be careful that you don’t let Boaz be overly driven, sexually. Be sure he desires you but doesn’t violate you. Be careful. If I know Boaz’s men like I think I do, they’ll be eating and drinking. Boaz will be right there with them. Wait until Boaz has drunk his fill and overeaten. When his heart is merry, when he gets slightly tipsy, find out exactly where he’s going to lie down. Mark the spot. Once he’s sound asleep go in and lift the skirt of his tunic an snuggle in with him. Lift his kilt all the way up to his waist until the lower half of his body is exposed. And then I want you to lie down. Now, this is dangerous business Ruth, because if it’s handled wrong, if either of you become so aroused you lose your self-control, you might destroy a glorious future!”

c. Page 63, “This fear of the obscene played out into the thinking of Ruth when she said, ‘is this thing as scandalous as the ancestors and ancestresses [sic] in my past?”

I am not sure our sexually loose American worldview is an appropriate lens with which to read this story. West makes it look more pornographic than redemptive. Furthermore, the statement of Ruth on page 63 may be an expansion from a Targum (I think that may be the source), but it is not canonized Biblical text and should not be portrayed as such. Preachers take liberty in preaching. I am guilty as well. But we should not take so much liberty as to change the tone of a text and as a result change the intended message of a text.

5. In writing literature intended to guide teachers and students in a Christian education context, West would have better served his readers by at least acknowledging the alternative, far less seedy and more common, interpretations of this text. There are good arguments on both sides, share them. In Dr. Daniel Block’s commentary on Judges and Ruth from the New American Commentary series, Block offers a balanced approach, giving face time to both arguments. He then offers evidences to support his position in the debate. For instance, according to Block, Ruth’s dress in one manner could be interpreted as that of a prostitute. But it just as well can be interpreted as a common covering for a peasant. Her act of “perfuming” herself may not be as much of a sexual proposal as it is a declaration she is finished mourning her dead husband. In doing so she is sending a clear message to Boaz, I am ready to be redeemed, take me as your own. Furthermore we should acknowledge that the phrase interpreted “uncover his feet” is ambiguous and the customs surrounding it are VERY unclear. It could accurately be said, they are virtually unkown. In literature intended for teachers and students, these are nuances of the text that should be readily acknowledged.

As a pastor I am disappointed not only in West’s portrayal of this magnificent story, but I am also disappointed in Lifeway’s seeming carelessness in releasing this chapter to the churches that patronize its business in good faith. If West wants to write a book about Ruth and sell it on the open market, do so. Yet, to include what I consider to be a gross misrepresentation in a subscription based Christian education quarterly is a foul. West is accountable for the way he teaches his people. I am not appreciative of the way Lifeway has welcomed him, in this particular instance of Ruth 3, to teach mine. When pastors approve a subscription to an educational series, again, it is in good faith that it will sustain a certain general course that is safe for their people. Sure, there will be variances and controversies from time to time, but Lifeway should be more careful not to deviate from the chosen path so far that the only result is that it disturbs laymen rather than edifies them.

I want to add one more paragraph to say that I know pastors, people, and the blogosphere. As a fellow servant of God I respect Ralph Douglas West as such. I DO NOT THINK HE IS A BAD MAN, PASTOR, OR PERSON. Honestly, I know little to nothing about him and as such cannot judge his character. At the same time, I have written this article only to judge something he has written. He and LIfeway have chosen to publish it. I have simply responded to what has been commonly published. I am, in posting to my blog, publishing as well and realizing that people have every right to respond just as I have responded to Ralph Douglas West’s interpretation of Ruth 3 and Lifeway’s choice to distribute it in education literature for church laymen. All I ask is that when you respond to this article, please refrain from name calling, personal attack, or undue criticism of any party involved. Sometimes people mistake negative emotion for scholarship. Let’s not kindle those flames and make the same mistake.

A Family Christmess (Sermon Audio: Sunday A.M.)

In the Jewish culture family is important. Lineage is even more so, hence the genealogies of Jesus. Matthew writes a genealogy of Jesus that points to his destiny as a King. As a son of David He has a right to the throne. But in writing his genealogy there are also those very human subplots, like my family, and your family, it is our Family “Christmess.” How can you deal with your family Christmess?

Listen to audio

Wise Marriage, (Sermon Audio: Sunday A.M.)

For the next seven weeks we are going to be discussing marriage. This is the intro sermon. Smart Marriage is a series of sermons aptly subtitled, “good ideas for a great marriage.” These sermons will be taken mainly from the Book of Proverbs. Proverbs are observations of life. They are the advice of fathers to sons, grandmothers to granddaughters. In life and marriage there are only two courses. Either we are learning and growing, becoming a better version of ourselves, or we are fools. It is your choice.

Listen to audio